Does it need to be said?

I am sure it is fairly obvious now that I am taking a break from blogging here.  I may return sometime, and I might not.  Until then, enjoy your life!  I am.

Choo-Choo!

No time for brief blog posts as of late, let alone deep introspection.  Just chugging along on the ever-faster moving train toward the end of the school year.  Thank goodness we are approaching the final station, we are all exhausted.  Recital weekend and Kinder graduation over the next couple days, and my parents are flying in for it.  Should be awesome, yet tiring, but it is great to spend time with family.  SOOO looking forward to summer and a slower pace.

Hopefully I can get all my "stuff" wrapped up so I can get outside and play too!  Tired of "having stuff to do" but maybe that is just my life.  Making small progress, and as I always say, "Baby steps still get you where you want to go."  Heading in the right direction, for the win!

Stop my life...

I want to get off! 

No, just kidding, kind of.  I feel like everything is on fast forward lately, and I have so many things to do and no time to do it in.  Not enough time to be outside and play, not enough time for "down" time, not enough time to spend with the kids in the way I want to spend it. 

Trying not to focus too much on productivity; and in reality, it is only small stuff that is getting done, while the bigger stuff continues to loom and taunt me.  Baby steps, I keep reminding myself, still keep you moving in the right direction.

This week, however, I am going to make a concerted effort to stop "trying to get stuff done" and just get outside and play, and just do what I want with my kids.  We have only so much time, I don't want to waste it always "working".  That will always be there, my kids won't.

p.s.  I can't wait for summer - fun in the sun, and also we will be free!  Starting our homeschooling journey and really looking forward to it.  May dial back on some activities as well.  My good rhythm has me feeling too "on-the-go" lately, but maybe I just got a case of Spring Fever.

YES!

I LOVE this post, and pretty much sums up my first year or so with my daughter.  I was so restrictive and a slave to the routine.  SO glad I learned how to still keep rhythm and RELAX!  It is so much easier the second time around...

http://gentlemothering.blogspot.com/2012/11/my-biggest-mothering-lesson-just-relax.html

Trucking along

Nothing new to share, everything is status quo.  Here I am.  Feeling like I am always on the verge of accomplishing my goals and ideals for the house, project, homeschool, etc but I just can't quite get there.  Working on making Lent holy and improving the person I am, both inside and out.  Have some upcoming travel.  Hilighted my hair pink violet by my daughter's choosing.  Spent time looking at pictures today from when my girl was my son's age and it really took me back and made me feel "weird".  Realized that although my daughter was a really tough infant, my son is putting me through the ringer as a young toddler.  He was an "easy" baby, but she leveled out after about a year or so.  Going through a jealous phase now, of her with the baby.  I have minimal patience lately which only adds to the fun.  Working on all that and praying.  Reading and writing and trying to just be.  Sad Downton Abbey is over until next season (my hands-down favorite show EVER).  Considering getting my nose pierced.  Have a week off with the kiddos and trying to find fun things to do balanced with staying at home and relaxing.  My daughter didn't watch TV for 6 weeks and it was lovely.  Glad the sickies appear to be leaving, once she gets over her cold.  I don't read facebook hardly at all anymore and feel only remotely out of touch.  Realized I haven't even looked at Google Reader in over 6 months.  Going balls-to-the-wall Primal again tomorrow (I hope!).  Was doing good not spending money and have had a hiccup, time to get back on that wagon.  Never, ever enough time to get what I want done.  Trying to get to bed earlier, of which I clearly didn't succeed tonight.  Huh.  Look at that, I guess I always have something to share, now, don't I?

More later, lovies...

One (not so) Little Word

Reading this post reminded me that I had better get on my "one word" for 2013.  I mulled it over, prayed about it, but in the end, I came back with my first inclination; which incidentally is the same as the author's. 

HOME. 

So meaningful in so many ways.  I have been evolving toward this focus in so many different ways from years past, but now it has come to the forefront.  A lot of my goals and ventures are still the same as last year so I will spare us both writing more about it.  I am continually looking at avenues for improvement, and shoring up areas in which I have been slipping.  Always always always a balancing act.   I am finishing up a work project that will be my last for some time, even though I will still have some activities and events to attend after.  I am SO ready to be done. DONE.  I love the professional side of me, but realized at this time in my life, it is my ministry.  I can always focus on that once my kids are older.  I don't regret any of my choices, but now am ready for some different ones.   I have given up (mostly) reading my Facebook newsfeed, although I still run my "business" page and post on my personal page.  Mostly it is a great connection tool and address book, when I need it.  Other than that, the political, social, and other ideological crap is just getting to me and I don't think it is good to waste my precious time marinating my brain in that.

And since we are planning on homeschooling, home as my watchword is really a good choice for us as a family.  I am constantly changing the look of the house based on feel and functionality.  Usually it is in a state of flux, never quite completed due to time constraints with activities and small children (who especially of late aren't giving mommy her nap-time respite!).  My brain is on fire with plans and projects for the upcoming school year, and already budgeting for school supplies, curricula, and other materials.  We are all really excited about this!

 We have a good working rhythm of the house, and I am hoping to get it where I'd like appearance wise. Enjoyed gardening last year, will be happy to start again once the ground thaws.  Emily enjoys working with me in the kitchen, and we have done a lot of baking, canning, and food prep.  I look forward to expanding this as we have more time at home next year.  All part of the learning process!   As far as with our faith, I am amazed watching my daughter blossom in her understanding of our God and Jesus, and our Catholic faith.  We are MUCH more involved and comfortable in our church here, and I look forward to deepening my own personal faith and devotional practices.  Coming home to my self and my higher power.  Relationships with each other continue to take priority and we model what we'd like to see with our own behavior.  We are trying to be the change we wish to see in the world, and doing our part for world peace by encouraging love and respect in the home. Our conscious choices regarding consumerism, food/nutrition, the environment, and parenting remain the same, and we continually are educating ourselves and learning learning learning.  Money - well, a work in progress, but we have a solid plan.  Not where we want to be, but we are on our way.  Baby steps.  Enough said. 

Bottom line, we enjoy being together as a family, even with no agenda or itinerary.  We just like each other's company (well, most of the time anyways).  It is a time for us to turn inward toward ourselves and each other.  I envision home to mean a comfortable, safe place where one actually wants to be; a sanctuary, a retreat, a landing spot.  This year, my focus is to create that place anew.

This time of year

Is NOT my favorite!  The letdown after the holidays, trying to regain some normalcy, the cold, long, dark days and nights which don't feel *as* cozy as they did the month before...  Ah. I could go on and on.

Add to this my son has just had all four molars break through, had the croup/cold, decided to stop sleeping his predictable way and times, and is now going through a mommy-love phase where he must be on me or right up against me.  Yeah.  I have made my peace (sort of) with no free-time at the moment hoping it is just a phase, but I have a HUGE project coming to completion next month and have serious reservations about getting it all done.  Nevermind the house and the homeschool reading I plan on doing, etc etc etc.  Plus I have a little PTSD remembering how Emily used to be! 

In all seriousness, Eric is immensely supportive and I am hanging on.  I am oh so very blessed to have good friends both near and far, who talk me down on a daily basis!  My kids and husband, although frustrating at times, bring me the greatest moments of peace and joy and I thank God every single day for allowing me to do this "job".  This too shall pass, this I know.  I just hope it is in time to get my work done in a timely manner!  :)

Oh, I am praying and reflecting on my watchword (one word focus) for 2013.  When I get another 2 seconds I will update you once it is revealed to my heart and mind.

Happy New Year!